Unburning Down the House

Scott Marsh's brilliant Merry Crisis was sadly painted over but happily raised >$90k for firefighters.

Scott Morrison is the most recent of 6 Australian prime ministers in the last 12 years. Originally a marketer, over the past couple of years he underwent a re-branding evolution. From his ‘stop the boats’ rhetoric and his utterly cruel and soulless reputation as Immigration minister, to the more business-minded, coal loving treasurer, to the “oh whoops how did I get here” daggy dad Prime Minister.

In May 2019, he won an election based on a marketing message – he wasn’t the opposition leader, Bill Shorten. He had no other real policies other than something about franking credits and some bullshit about an Opposition death tax. Based on the fact he had no policies, and that he had been so behind in the polls that he had fuck all chance of winning, he put his election win down to a miracle.

So what’s wrong with winning an election with broad brushstrokes and a set of policies looking like Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard? It comes in two parts. The government’s unable to move past ideology and understand how everyday Australians will live under their leadership, because they were caught flat-footed with no plan. Secondly, there’s the arguably larger problem of their complete lack of empathy for actual Australians, despite paying a consultant to upskill them.

But this shouldn’t come as a surprise to us. The Morrison Way has been to dehumanise and hide problems at every turn. Think “on water matters” rather than vulnerable and desperate refugees being towed back or detained in Offshore Detention Centres for undefined periods in appalling conditions at incredible expense. Think about Robodebt, where Australia’s welfare recipients were scared shitless by a feckless algorithm, often unnecessarily and with dire consequences.  He doesn’t even understand who is on welfare, and threatened Extinction Rebellion activists that he would take away their welfare. Because only greenies and bludgers are on welfare,#AmIRight? All of these issues have been dealt with with a “nothing to see here” level of opacity, fuck all accountability and fuck all chance of getting an apology. Morrison isn’t big on those.

Suddenly it was the end of August, and the incredibly premature start to the Australian fire season. The Coalition had a problem on two fronts: Climate change had definitely caused these fires, and they didn’t have a national strategy to tackle them. In fact, they’d ignored repeated requests and warnings from fire chiefs to address the issue, slashed funding from emergency services and continued to undermine climate action efforts locally and overseas.

The fires spread and worsened, conditions deteriorated and Australians watched on in horror. Rather than acknowledge that the bush was burning, the cities were choking and that it was time to roll up the sleeves and work together with state and local governments to make sure there were enough resources and strategies to better manage this emergency…. Morrison secretly buggered off to Hawaii on holidays with his family. The neglect of the entire nation shouldn’t come as a shock. He’d been doing it to refugees and the vulnerable for years – now he was just doing it to the rest of us.

He reluctantly came back after two volunteer firefighters died, a day earlier than planned, then vaguely apologised if anyone was offended by his family vacay. Furthermore, he initially declined to help out volunteer firefighters because they’re volunteers. Paying them felt like they’d somehow profit out of the fires, like tax-payer funded welfare… and we know how he feels about that.

So now we have a climate denier who lied about a holiday, who has lost the entire Australian population’s trust and earned the unenviable monikers the Liar from the Shire, the Slogan Bogan and Scotty from Marketing.

At this point It’s worth re-visiting some of the messages from the election campaign to understand why he’s now so badly on the nose. During the campaign, Morrison said he wanted to make sure that “Australians who had a go, get a go”.

The key word that’s missing here is ‘fair’.  The Australian way is a ‘fair go’ because one of the key things that makes us unlike the United States, is that if the odds are against you, the country is here to help you. Because that’s what a fair go is – publicly funded education, health, welfare – things that make sure that people who need help get it. It’s not some opaque Trumpian meritocracy that’s edified by ‘have a go, get a go’.

Today, the government seems to have no plan, there’s no accountability, there’s no apology, there’s no authenticity and there’s no empathy. He had a sulk that people wanted him to stay and lead the nation, even if he wasn’t manning a hose or a call centre directly. He has the temerity to wonder why people don’t want to shake his hand and instead forces them to do so. Morrison doesn't get it, he is repulsive, and he’s unwelcome.

However this is not an excuse for yet another leadership change. Morrison can’t unburn a house, but with any luck, his extreme unpopularity will cause a shift in policy. If you’re going to rebuild a house, firstly you have to acknowledge that it’s burned to the ground. You can’t simply reshuffle the ashes in the vague hope that it will amount to something habitable. Scott Morrison has to acknowledge that climate change caused these fires, the government has to manage our water resources properly, they have to get on board with real green energy and, at a stretch, become a leader in renewables. The population is facing and breathing the burning bush – they’re terrified and won’t buy bullshit any longer because franking credits don’t extinguish flames.

Maybe this atheist is looking for a miracle… but wouldn’t it be nice if in desperation for better standing in the polls Morrison did something good for the country? It’s the beginning of a long hot summer, and there’s a few more to come before the next election. If nothing changes, I dare say the electorate will remember their country burning, millions of animals dying and their government standing by doing bugger all. And then, at the next election if he’s still PM, Scotty from Marketing will be well and truly fucked.